Virginia Tech missed out on quarterback prospect Kevin Newsome, who signed with Penn State. Many Hokie fans were furious that Tech wasn't able to sign Newsome, who had indicated he wanted to come to Blacksburg.
However, there is at least one person who isn't sold on Newsome's quarterbacking skills. ESPN's Tom Luginbill mentions this in his list of schools with top incoming talent that will participate in spring practice.
He lists Penn State and talks specifically about Newsome. Because the column is pay material, I can't give you a direct quote. Basically he said Newsome needs a lot of work if he's going to play quarterback at the college level and that he would be better suited at linebacker or safety.
Newsome's a great talent, but I think Hokie fans may have overreacted over him not picking Virginia Tech. There are few guys who are can't miss guys and at least according to Luginbill, Newsome isn't one of them.
Recruiting as a science is as exact as meteorology. Getting worked up over whether or not an 18 year old chooses your school is futile. For everyone who says he's the next Michael Vick there's at least one person who says he's overrated and will never contribute. Newsome's probably somewhere in the middle.
Showing posts with label rants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rants. Show all posts
Monday, February 23, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Hey Jeff, how many games are you suspended?
HT: Testudo Times
"This many."
Allen will miss the rivalry game against the 'Hoos, who are coming off a big overtime win against Clemson. That's fantastic. They've got momentum and we've lost two consecutive road games. I really wouldn't be surprised if we lost Wednesday.
The good news is UVa doesn't have a remarkable inside presence that will suddenly be able to dominate in the paint with Allen out. The key for the Hokies will be stopping Sylven Landesberg, who's name says "I'm a 7-2 white center from Lithuania," but is in fact a high-scoring slashing guard from NYC.
The Hokies are also facing yet another coach under fire in Dave Laitao. However, unlike the previous coaches under fire the Hokies faced, does not have a championship ring as a player or head coach.
Look for this to be a tough game for the Hokies, even though he was shut down by the 'Hoos in the last meeting, he's still one of Tech's three most important players and will be missed. And because he did something stupid and immature, he's suspended for an important conference road game.
Also, note that this suspension is coming from VT AD extraordinaire Jim Weaver, citing his incredibly stupid "Hokies Respect" campaign. Weaver should just let the league suspend Allen instead of claiming to do it himself to promote his stupid, cartoonish program. Every fan base has its idiots and we don't need laughable cartoons to tell us to settle down or former players telling us to respect others.
To paraphrase Carlin: Fuck Weaver, fuck Hokies Respect ... and fuck everyone now that I think of it. Sometimes in blogging you have to generalize.
Look, Allen screwed up. Does it make us look bad? Yes. Does it make every fan outside of Virginia Tech think all Hokies are like this? No.
Not even the Deadspin commentariate was vile toward Allen. In fact, the only comment that was even about the game came from frequent commenter and Hokie fan "Frank Beamer's Goiter":
Allen was never in the game from the first minute and neither was most of the team, keeping up with Greenberg's style of playing up/down to each opponent's level.
Weaver had no reason to get on his high horse and take down one of our own to try and save face. The league should have handled the Allen situation.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
VT 2009 vs. Clemson 2008
I'm late on this because everyone's favorite Mouseketeer is no longer in my RSS reader. Maybe she should be for the entertainment value. Seems she posted a Hokie-heavy mailbag Tuesday in which she compares the Hokies to last year's Clemson team and insults a Hokie fan who insulted her.
Basically, here's what I can gather from her reaction to Mark Schlabach ranking Tech No. 5 and the previously mentioned mailbag:
1. Annette is pretty embarrassed she was so high on the Tigers (even though they had no offensive line) and they proved her wrong.
2. Annette doesn't want to make that same mistake again with the Hokies.
3. Even though the Hokies do return a lot of talent on both sides of the ball, Annette thinks they will fail because the expectations will be too much for them to take.
4. Annette's take on the 2009 Hokies is they aren't nearly as good as the best teams in the country or that much better than other top ACC teams, but because they're the Hokies they're going to win nine or 10 games anyway.
Does that about sum it up?
Look, the Hokies aren't going to win the national title next year. But they aren't going to fall on their faces like Clemson did, either. The main reason is because Clemson was coached by this guy:
That, and the Hokies didn't lose four offensive linemen after last season. If we can find a center, we'll be fine. Annette seems to think that Tyrod WILL get injured at some point next season and we'll be doomed. But could Greg Boone and JuJu Clayton be that much worse than Sean Glennon was for the latter portions of his career? I think either are perfectly capable of handing the ball off to Darren Evans and Ryan Williams and letting the defense do its thing.
Our lesson here is two-fold: Don't get caught up in the hype when a team hasn't proved itself and don't think history will automatically repeat itself because the same hype is surrounding another team. It's way to early to be comparing the 2009 Hokies to the 2008 Tigers.
Basically, here's what I can gather from her reaction to Mark Schlabach ranking Tech No. 5 and the previously mentioned mailbag:
1. Annette is pretty embarrassed she was so high on the Tigers (even though they had no offensive line) and they proved her wrong.
2. Annette doesn't want to make that same mistake again with the Hokies.
3. Even though the Hokies do return a lot of talent on both sides of the ball, Annette thinks they will fail because the expectations will be too much for them to take.
4. Annette's take on the 2009 Hokies is they aren't nearly as good as the best teams in the country or that much better than other top ACC teams, but because they're the Hokies they're going to win nine or 10 games anyway.
Does that about sum it up?
Look, the Hokies aren't going to win the national title next year. But they aren't going to fall on their faces like Clemson did, either. The main reason is because Clemson was coached by this guy:
That, and the Hokies didn't lose four offensive linemen after last season. If we can find a center, we'll be fine. Annette seems to think that Tyrod WILL get injured at some point next season and we'll be doomed. But could Greg Boone and JuJu Clayton be that much worse than Sean Glennon was for the latter portions of his career? I think either are perfectly capable of handing the ball off to Darren Evans and Ryan Williams and letting the defense do its thing.
Our lesson here is two-fold: Don't get caught up in the hype when a team hasn't proved itself and don't think history will automatically repeat itself because the same hype is surrounding another team. It's way to early to be comparing the 2009 Hokies to the 2008 Tigers.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Jay Bilas on Expansion
Jay Bilas gave an extensive interview to ACC Sports Journal touching on a variety of topics. One of them was expansion. Jay isn't a fan.
Let's take a look at the records of the expansion teams in ACC basketball conference play before I tackle the really dumb part of Bilas' statement:
2004-05: 15-17 (.469 VT & UM only)
2005-06: 22-26 (.458)
2006-07: 24-24 (.500)
2007-08: 21-27 (.438)
2008-09: 15-13 (.536 through Feb. 9)
TOTAL: 97-107 (.475)
Does the guy have a point that it hasn't helped ACC hoops? Maybe. Looking at the standings since BC joined for the 2005-06 season, there have been two good teams and one craptacular team out of the expansion teams.
Until an expansion team contends for a regular season crown, wins the ACC tournament or makes a run in The Tournament, people like Bilas who pine for the salad days of ACC basketball will be able to make the argument that ACC basketball just isn't the same with the Hokies, 'Canes and Eagles included.
However, I'll disagree that the Big East is currently the best basketball conference. Sure, everything looked good when Notre Dame and Georgetown were highly ranked, but those two schools are solidly in the tank with big losses against UCLA and Duke, respectively, on its resumes.
What I really take issue with is that Bilas said he doesn't think expansion has done anything for ACC football. He doesn't elaborate on that part, probably because he realized just how stupid that statement was. I'm sorry, but which two teams have played each other in the ACC title game the last two years?
The point can be made that basketball isn't as exciting for the blowhards like Bilas who want all the Tobacco Road teams to play each other twice a year, but I don't think the league has been hurt by the three expansion teams. But football without Tech, Miami and BC would be just plain ugly.
ACCSports.com:
This summer was the five-year anniversary of ACC expansion. From a basketball standpoint, how did you feel about it then, and how do you feel about it now?
Bilas:
I thought it was a mistake when they did it. I still think it’s a mistake. I think the early results have borne that out.
You can make an argument that expansion has hurt ACC basketball. I’m not sure it’s done anything for ACC football, frankly. The Big East has come out the big winner in this. The Big East is the best basketball conference in the country this year, in my opinion, even though the ACC is very strong. I think the Big East has more quality teams top to bottom.
The thing I don’t like about it is, the elimination of the round-robin — playing everybody twice — I think was a big mistake. If money was the deciding factor or football was the deciding factor, then fine. But from a basketball perspective, I don’t think it has helped in any way.
Let's take a look at the records of the expansion teams in ACC basketball conference play before I tackle the really dumb part of Bilas' statement:
2004-05: 15-17 (.469 VT & UM only)
2005-06: 22-26 (.458)
2006-07: 24-24 (.500)
2007-08: 21-27 (.438)
2008-09: 15-13 (.536 through Feb. 9)
TOTAL: 97-107 (.475)
Does the guy have a point that it hasn't helped ACC hoops? Maybe. Looking at the standings since BC joined for the 2005-06 season, there have been two good teams and one craptacular team out of the expansion teams.
Until an expansion team contends for a regular season crown, wins the ACC tournament or makes a run in The Tournament, people like Bilas who pine for the salad days of ACC basketball will be able to make the argument that ACC basketball just isn't the same with the Hokies, 'Canes and Eagles included.
However, I'll disagree that the Big East is currently the best basketball conference. Sure, everything looked good when Notre Dame and Georgetown were highly ranked, but those two schools are solidly in the tank with big losses against UCLA and Duke, respectively, on its resumes.
What I really take issue with is that Bilas said he doesn't think expansion has done anything for ACC football. He doesn't elaborate on that part, probably because he realized just how stupid that statement was. I'm sorry, but which two teams have played each other in the ACC title game the last two years?
The point can be made that basketball isn't as exciting for the blowhards like Bilas who want all the Tobacco Road teams to play each other twice a year, but I don't think the league has been hurt by the three expansion teams. But football without Tech, Miami and BC would be just plain ugly.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Why I Consider Myself a Hokie, Recruiting and More ESPHeather Stupidity
[rant]
Monday night I went to the Oklahoma-Tennessee women's basketball game in Oklahoma City to witness Pat Summitt's 1,000th career win. Needless to say, it didn't happen and it was two hours of my life I'll never get back. It was the first women's hoops game I've ever gone to out of my own free will and will be the last for a while.
If you like turnovers, missed free throws and questionable officiating, women's hoops is the sport for you!
As some of you may know, I'm a Hokie fan, but a graduate of the University of Oklahoma. I don't consider myself a Sooner and I rarely go to OU games, even though I live within walking distance of Owen Field. Well, Monday I was reminded why I'm a Hokie.
Despite the fact their women's team just had one of its biggest wins in program history (on ESPN Big Monday, no less) and had just beaten the team that most casual fans associate most with the sport, OU fans could do nothing but bitch and moan while leaving Ford Center after the game.
Why? Because Courtney Paris fouled out, ending her string of 112 consecutive double-doubles. I won't get into why I think Paris is the most overrated player in the history of any college sport. It would waste your time and I would be admitting I pay any attention at all to women's hoops.
However, because the streak ended and because OU fans felt Paris had been hosed by the officials on all five of her fouls and had been fouled every time she missed an open layup (which was a lot on Monday), they booed relentlessly after the game and walking out of the Ford Center, it felt almost as if OU had lost. God, I had OU fans.
That's why I'm a Hokie. I like to believe Virginia Tech fans would have handled the situation a lot better instead of being the unbelievable pricks most Sooner fans are.
[/rant]
Recruiting news
David Glenn on Hokie Recruiting: ACC Sports Journal has a must-read breakdown of how Tech did building its recruiting class, where it went right and where it went wrong. If you're still on the "Fire Stiney" bandwagon, you'll want to ignore the part under the Top Recruiter sub-head, but there's a lot of great information here.
Great class, but...: VT Fan thinks we have another solid recruiting class. But the gorilla in the room is that it's bereft of a quarterback.
Jagodzinski'd: Kudos to Georgia Tech for pulling an offer from a recruit who committed then made an official visit to Auburn. My question is could Virginia Tech get away with doing this? How would our fans react if Beamer made a similar move?
ESPHeather gets deleted from my RSS reader
For her sake, I hope ESPN made her write this crap. This article annoys me mainly because I don't follow recruiting and really don't care.
The level of talent you bring into a program doesn't matter if it doesn't develop or gel (FSU) and you shouldn't get credit as a great recruiter if you take average talent and turn it into a winner (Wake Forest). It's all nonsense. Recruiting only exists to give us something to care about that gets us to Spring Football.
Arguing about who is the best recruiter in the conference is a worthless endeavor.
Monday night I went to the Oklahoma-Tennessee women's basketball game in Oklahoma City to witness Pat Summitt's 1,000th career win. Needless to say, it didn't happen and it was two hours of my life I'll never get back. It was the first women's hoops game I've ever gone to out of my own free will and will be the last for a while.
If you like turnovers, missed free throws and questionable officiating, women's hoops is the sport for you!
As some of you may know, I'm a Hokie fan, but a graduate of the University of Oklahoma. I don't consider myself a Sooner and I rarely go to OU games, even though I live within walking distance of Owen Field. Well, Monday I was reminded why I'm a Hokie.
Despite the fact their women's team just had one of its biggest wins in program history (on ESPN Big Monday, no less) and had just beaten the team that most casual fans associate most with the sport, OU fans could do nothing but bitch and moan while leaving Ford Center after the game.
Why? Because Courtney Paris fouled out, ending her string of 112 consecutive double-doubles. I won't get into why I think Paris is the most overrated player in the history of any college sport. It would waste your time and I would be admitting I pay any attention at all to women's hoops.
However, because the streak ended and because OU fans felt Paris had been hosed by the officials on all five of her fouls and had been fouled every time she missed an open layup (which was a lot on Monday), they booed relentlessly after the game and walking out of the Ford Center, it felt almost as if OU had lost. God, I had OU fans.
That's why I'm a Hokie. I like to believe Virginia Tech fans would have handled the situation a lot better instead of being the unbelievable pricks most Sooner fans are.
[/rant]
Recruiting news
David Glenn on Hokie Recruiting: ACC Sports Journal has a must-read breakdown of how Tech did building its recruiting class, where it went right and where it went wrong. If you're still on the "Fire Stiney" bandwagon, you'll want to ignore the part under the Top Recruiter sub-head, but there's a lot of great information here.
Great class, but...: VT Fan thinks we have another solid recruiting class. But the gorilla in the room is that it's bereft of a quarterback.
Jagodzinski'd: Kudos to Georgia Tech for pulling an offer from a recruit who committed then made an official visit to Auburn. My question is could Virginia Tech get away with doing this? How would our fans react if Beamer made a similar move?
ESPHeather gets deleted from my RSS reader
For her sake, I hope ESPN made her write this crap. This article annoys me mainly because I don't follow recruiting and really don't care.
The level of talent you bring into a program doesn't matter if it doesn't develop or gel (FSU) and you shouldn't get credit as a great recruiter if you take average talent and turn it into a winner (Wake Forest). It's all nonsense. Recruiting only exists to give us something to care about that gets us to Spring Football.
Arguing about who is the best recruiter in the conference is a worthless endeavor.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
ACC Needs a Contender
This item just showed up on my RSS reader: The ACC led all conferences in Pro Bowl selections in 2008. That's cute.
The ACC has plenty of things to be proud of on the football side of things. It usually leads college football in draft picks and first-round picks. Its players succeed at the next level. It had the best win percentage against BCS non-conference teams in 2008. A record 10 teams qualified for bowls this season.
However, its champion and BCS participant (and team this blog follows) is 9-4 overall and 5-3 in conference play. Compare that with all the conference champ-eens:
Mountain West: Utah (12-0, 8-0)
WAC: Boise State (12-0, 8-0)
Big 12: Oklahoma (12-1, 7-1)
SEC: Florida (12-1, 7-1)
Big Ten: Penn State (11-1, 7-1)
Pac 10: USC (11-1, 8-1)
Big East: Cincinnati (11-2, 6-1)
CUSA: East Carolina (9-4, 6-2)
ACC: Virginia Tech (9-4, 5-3)
Sun Belt: Troy (8-4, 6-1)
MAC: Buffalo (8-5, 5-3)
It's a good thing Buffalo beat Ball State or else the Hokies would have braggin' rights over Troy and that's it.
Parity was great for the league this year. It was by far the most exciting league race to watch in college football this year. But real respect doesn't come from having players succeed at the next level or by putting 10 teams in bowls.
The ACC can definitely hang its hat on having the best record against BCS opponents and on going 6-4 against God's Conference this year. But what the ACC really needs is for a team to separate itself and be in the discussion for the BCSCG.
A lot was made of Texas, Oklahoma and Florida battling for the two spots and USC and Penn State's attractive resumes. Those teams were talked about on SportsCenter. The ACC and its exciting conference race obviously was not. It was fun for us to watch, but no one else was watching.
The ACC is a tremendous conference for all sports, including football. But parity is only fun for a short while. Seasons like 2008 are great every now and then, but the ACC needs a team to step up and have a chance to play for the national title. It should have been Clemson this year. Hopefully it will be the Hokies next year.
Once we have a team contend for and win the national championship, we can go back to having a season with the kind of parity we saw this year. Then, people outside of the ACC will actually watch.
The ACC has plenty of things to be proud of on the football side of things. It usually leads college football in draft picks and first-round picks. Its players succeed at the next level. It had the best win percentage against BCS non-conference teams in 2008. A record 10 teams qualified for bowls this season.
However, its champion and BCS participant (and team this blog follows) is 9-4 overall and 5-3 in conference play. Compare that with all the conference champ-eens:
Mountain West: Utah (12-0, 8-0)
WAC: Boise State (12-0, 8-0)
Big 12: Oklahoma (12-1, 7-1)
SEC: Florida (12-1, 7-1)
Big Ten: Penn State (11-1, 7-1)
Pac 10: USC (11-1, 8-1)
Big East: Cincinnati (11-2, 6-1)
CUSA: East Carolina (9-4, 6-2)
ACC: Virginia Tech (9-4, 5-3)
Sun Belt: Troy (8-4, 6-1)
MAC: Buffalo (8-5, 5-3)
It's a good thing Buffalo beat Ball State or else the Hokies would have braggin' rights over Troy and that's it.
Parity was great for the league this year. It was by far the most exciting league race to watch in college football this year. But real respect doesn't come from having players succeed at the next level or by putting 10 teams in bowls.
The ACC can definitely hang its hat on having the best record against BCS opponents and on going 6-4 against God's Conference this year. But what the ACC really needs is for a team to separate itself and be in the discussion for the BCSCG.
A lot was made of Texas, Oklahoma and Florida battling for the two spots and USC and Penn State's attractive resumes. Those teams were talked about on SportsCenter. The ACC and its exciting conference race obviously was not. It was fun for us to watch, but no one else was watching.
The ACC is a tremendous conference for all sports, including football. But parity is only fun for a short while. Seasons like 2008 are great every now and then, but the ACC needs a team to step up and have a chance to play for the national title. It should have been Clemson this year. Hopefully it will be the Hokies next year.
Once we have a team contend for and win the national championship, we can go back to having a season with the kind of parity we saw this year. Then, people outside of the ACC will actually watch.
Friday, December 5, 2008
ACCCG Marketing at its Finest
Great post over at ACC Football Report. Marcus lives in the Tampa Bay area and has seen no promotion leading up to Saturday's game whatsoever.
The ACC created its "Road to Tampa Bay" campaign to get ACC folks excited for its championship and the new location. However, the league apparently forgot that in order to have a good crowd, the locals have to take ownership of the event as well.
So when you see blimp shots that put last year's game to shame, don't blame BC and VT fans. Blame the ACC and its inability to market the game where it was needed most.
The ACC created its "Road to Tampa Bay" campaign to get ACC folks excited for its championship and the new location. However, the league apparently forgot that in order to have a good crowd, the locals have to take ownership of the event as well.
So when you see blimp shots that put last year's game to shame, don't blame BC and VT fans. Blame the ACC and its inability to market the game where it was needed most.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
3,000 Tickets Sold for the ACCCG
It's already been discussed by Dr. Saturday, but Hokie fans aren't exactly living up to their end of the bargain in buying tickets for Saturday's ACCCG. According to the Roanoke Times, Hokie fans have only gobbled up 30 percent of their allotment.
No, this isn't a "shame on you" post like the one Eagle in Atlanta wrote for BC fans last night. As someone who also can't afford to be in Tampa this weekend, it would hypocritical of me to complain about Hokie fans not making the trip to the game and implore them to do what they can to support the team this weekend.
But the idea of there being more BC fans than VT fans in Raymond James Stadium Saturday makes me cringe. We are a fan base that is proud of its willingness to travel. Hell, I've made four trips of over 2,000 miles round trip to see the Hokies play this year.
I think the blaming the economy is a cop out, though. It's the trendy thing to do these days, like blaming El Nino. The collapsing economy hasn't hurt me too bad, but then again I'm single and pay $300 a month in rent. No, I think you can blame this on a few other reasons:
1. We aren't that good.
2. It's friggin' BC. Again.
3. This offense is painful to watch.
4. OK, the economy a little bit.
This team is 8-4. It isn't 10-2 like it was last year with two losses to teams that at the time were ranked No. 2. We aren't playing Florida State like we were in 2005 and we aren't looking for revenge like we were last year. Yes, we lost to BC in the regular season, but it wasn't a last-second, soul-crushing defeat.
And we all know it isn't going to be exciting football. The over-under on this game should be in the 20s. The two teams are going to grind on each other until one of them breaks in the fourth quarter. It won't be a sexy game. It will be like watching two guys fish.
And on top of that is the economic scapegoat.
The fact is, I can't afford this trip on short notice and neither can a lot of fans. I'm one of many Hokie fans that is saving their money for a bowl trip to either Nashville (fairly cheap) or Miami (fairly expensive). I really hope more Hokies decide to make the trip to Tampa this weekend. But I can't blame you if you don't. I despise hypocrisy.
Tech was obligated to pay the Tampa Bay Sports Commission for 10,000 tickets to the game but has only sold about 3,000 of them.
Virginia Tech assistant athletic director Sandy Smith said Tuesday that ticket sales have been slower than last year, when the game was held in Jacksonville, Fla.
Sales "are not as good as we would like," Smith said. "All the ticket people throughout the conference looked at it -- even the ones [at schools] in Florida -- as being, because of the economy, a tough sell."
Many Tech fans interviewed at last weekend's win over Virginia said they would not be attending the title game in Tampa and would instead save their money for the upcoming bowl game.
"The economy's too bad," Bob Rue of Richmond said. "Bowl games are more fun -- a lot more stuff to do."
Tech will likely take an even bigger financial bath on ticket sales to the game than it did last year. Tech sold most of its allotment of 10,000 tickets last year but still finished $203,000 in the red, according to school officials.
No, this isn't a "shame on you" post like the one Eagle in Atlanta wrote for BC fans last night. As someone who also can't afford to be in Tampa this weekend, it would hypocritical of me to complain about Hokie fans not making the trip to the game and implore them to do what they can to support the team this weekend.
But the idea of there being more BC fans than VT fans in Raymond James Stadium Saturday makes me cringe. We are a fan base that is proud of its willingness to travel. Hell, I've made four trips of over 2,000 miles round trip to see the Hokies play this year.
I think the blaming the economy is a cop out, though. It's the trendy thing to do these days, like blaming El Nino. The collapsing economy hasn't hurt me too bad, but then again I'm single and pay $300 a month in rent. No, I think you can blame this on a few other reasons:
1. We aren't that good.
2. It's friggin' BC. Again.
3. This offense is painful to watch.
4. OK, the economy a little bit.
This team is 8-4. It isn't 10-2 like it was last year with two losses to teams that at the time were ranked No. 2. We aren't playing Florida State like we were in 2005 and we aren't looking for revenge like we were last year. Yes, we lost to BC in the regular season, but it wasn't a last-second, soul-crushing defeat.
And we all know it isn't going to be exciting football. The over-under on this game should be in the 20s. The two teams are going to grind on each other until one of them breaks in the fourth quarter. It won't be a sexy game. It will be like watching two guys fish.
And on top of that is the economic scapegoat.
The fact is, I can't afford this trip on short notice and neither can a lot of fans. I'm one of many Hokie fans that is saving their money for a bowl trip to either Nashville (fairly cheap) or Miami (fairly expensive). I really hope more Hokies decide to make the trip to Tampa this weekend. But I can't blame you if you don't. I despise hypocrisy.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Hokies O Still Disappointing
When I was just a little furrer4heisman, I got in trouble a lot. I've always had a problem with authority and would always question it and do things that would lead to me getting punished.
My parents weren't strict, but when I did go beyond the boundaries that were set for me, punishment was often harsh. This was before kids were simply put in timeout. I'm not saying parents shouldn't hit their kids (they should). It helped me mature and helped me figure out what I had to do to be a decent member of society.
But no matter what punishment they laid out, none was worse than hearing one of them say, "I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed." That stung the worst because it was almost as if they'd given up. As if they knew going in that I was going to screw up. Nothing feels as bad as disappointing someone who loves you.
So as I was tailgating at the Oklahoma-Texas Tech game Saturday and the Hokies continued to fail to score against the Blue Devils, I really wasn't that angry. Hell, honestly I wasn't even shocked. On Thursday I predicted a 16-3 win. So when "Duke 3, Virginia Tech 14 F" scrolled on the ribbon board at the OU-TT game, I really wasn't that mad. I was relieved we had won and were still alive in the Coastal.
The Hokie offense can no longer upset. It no longer makes me throw appliances, punch walls or make we want to kill small, defenseless woodland creatures. But Goddamn is it disappointing.
At this point, the only reason a loss this Saturday would make me angry is because it would come against france. I can't stand that school, that town, that team or those pretentious ass hole fans. I don't want to just beat france, I want to annihilate them. I want to clinch the division, keep them from bowling and continue our ownership of their football program.
But the fact is, we don't deserve to go to Tampa Bay. Georgia Tech does. And that's why I'm worried about Saturday's game. We suck audibly in Noon games and justice is usually done in college football. The team that deserves titles the most typically gets them. And that's why I'm not sure about the france game. The Gods of College Football just won't allow Bryan Stinespring and this offense to go to Tampa Bay.
If we lose, missing out on the ACCCG won't upset me. But losing to france will. If we lost to any other team, I would just be disappointed. But losing to france would infuriate me.
My parents weren't strict, but when I did go beyond the boundaries that were set for me, punishment was often harsh. This was before kids were simply put in timeout. I'm not saying parents shouldn't hit their kids (they should). It helped me mature and helped me figure out what I had to do to be a decent member of society.
But no matter what punishment they laid out, none was worse than hearing one of them say, "I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed." That stung the worst because it was almost as if they'd given up. As if they knew going in that I was going to screw up. Nothing feels as bad as disappointing someone who loves you.
So as I was tailgating at the Oklahoma-Texas Tech game Saturday and the Hokies continued to fail to score against the Blue Devils, I really wasn't that angry. Hell, honestly I wasn't even shocked. On Thursday I predicted a 16-3 win. So when "Duke 3, Virginia Tech 14 F" scrolled on the ribbon board at the OU-TT game, I really wasn't that mad. I was relieved we had won and were still alive in the Coastal.
The Hokie offense can no longer upset. It no longer makes me throw appliances, punch walls or make we want to kill small, defenseless woodland creatures. But Goddamn is it disappointing.
At this point, the only reason a loss this Saturday would make me angry is because it would come against france. I can't stand that school, that town, that team or those pretentious ass hole fans. I don't want to just beat france, I want to annihilate them. I want to clinch the division, keep them from bowling and continue our ownership of their football program.
But the fact is, we don't deserve to go to Tampa Bay. Georgia Tech does. And that's why I'm worried about Saturday's game. We suck audibly in Noon games and justice is usually done in college football. The team that deserves titles the most typically gets them. And that's why I'm not sure about the france game. The Gods of College Football just won't allow Bryan Stinespring and this offense to go to Tampa Bay.
If we lose, missing out on the ACCCG won't upset me. But losing to france will. If we lost to any other team, I would just be disappointed. But losing to france would infuriate me.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Crossroads A-Comin'
"You're not wrong..."
Before getting to the crux of this post, let me comment on LB Purnell Sturdivant's comments yesterday about the offense. You can read them here, but basically he called the offense predictable, said he and other defensive teammates had opinions on the offense and that he understood why people were critical of Stiney.
Geez. That's bad. To quote the dude, "you're not wrong, (Purnell), you're just an ass hole."
Yes, everything Sturdivant said was true. But as a defensive player you can't say that. We can't have a divided locker room where there's still an outside shot of winning the division. I get this sick feeling in my stomach that if GT loses to Miami and we get eliminated from the Coastal, we could see an absolute 2003-type implosion from this team.
Yet another reason to root for Georgia Tech.
Two Openings
I think the writing is on the wall for Bryan Stinespring. He'll be gone at the end of this season, which is why so many offensive players are sticking up for him at this point. The players have to know this is it for him.
But he won't be the only coordinator we'll have to replace at the end of the season.
The other news of yesterday was the head-coach-in-waiting deal for Will Muschamp at Texas and the increasing odds that Bud Foster will get the Clemson job.
With Muschamp out of the picture, Clemson has to be looking more at Bud, even though I still think they'll hire someone with previous HC experience. However, while I don't think Bud will get the Clemson, I think he'll get a job somewhere at the end of this season. His stock can't get any higher at this point and if he doesn't take a job now, the opportunity may never come.
Eventually Bud will realize he can't limit himself to a strong BCS school as the only way he'll leave Tech. If he wants a head coaching gig, he's going to have to go prove himself in a non-BCS conference. He'll leave after this year.
Hitting the Panic Button
I can only imagine the mass hysteria on the TSL board if/when Bud leaves Tech, especially if Stiney had previously been shown the door. Bud would likely take most of the defensive staff with him to Clemson, which would leave the Hokies will a lot of positions to fill.
It would be a crossroads for the program. Would Beamer try to hire someone he's familiar with or coached at Tech to take over the defense or would he go out and try to find an up-and-coming coach at a mid-major school. I'd hope he'd choose the second option.
The future of the program would depend on Beamer's selections for OC and DC. If he chooses wrong, he could deal this program a blow that he himself won't be able to fix. By the time the damage will have been done, I'd assume Beamer would be ready to retire.
Then it would be up to the next head coach to bring in a new staff and fix everything. And knowing Hokie fans, I know we hate change. We fear change (well, except when it comes to firing Stiney). You'd probably have a rift in the fanbase regardless of who got hired.
Or We Could Just Avoid Everything
But there's another option that avoids all of that chaos. I advocated it before the season started. It was mentioned on Hokie Hotline last night. It was mentioned again by TSL today.
Why not just give Bud a HC-in-waiting deal like Muschamp? It makes too much sense not to do it. It's the right move to make.
In the past, I've said that I haven't been sure about whether or not Bud will make a great head coach. I'm still not sure. But this is what's best for the program. With this season nearing a tailspin, we need stability.
Naming Bud the next HC would secure the near future of the Hokies. While Bud may not end up being a good head coach, he deserves his shot. And I'd rather his shot come with the Hokies than with someone else. I'd have a much easier time accepting a few down seasons with Bud as HC than with an outsider.
Make Bud VT's next head coach before another school does.
Before getting to the crux of this post, let me comment on LB Purnell Sturdivant's comments yesterday about the offense. You can read them here, but basically he called the offense predictable, said he and other defensive teammates had opinions on the offense and that he understood why people were critical of Stiney.
"Pretty much every team we face this year knows what we're going to do" on offense, Sturdivant said. "I have a couple friends at Carolina, a couple friends at N.C. State, things like that, they're pretty much just calling out the plays that we're going to run on offense. Our offense is pretty much predictable. You know what you're going to see each and every week."
Asked whether he thought Stinespring should go, Sturdivant said: "That's a hard one." But he added that he didn't think the outside criticism was unfair.
"Yeah, I can definitely see where they're coming from," Sturdivant said of the critics. "Me and a lot of guys."
Geez. That's bad. To quote the dude, "you're not wrong, (Purnell), you're just an ass hole."
Yes, everything Sturdivant said was true. But as a defensive player you can't say that. We can't have a divided locker room where there's still an outside shot of winning the division. I get this sick feeling in my stomach that if GT loses to Miami and we get eliminated from the Coastal, we could see an absolute 2003-type implosion from this team.
Yet another reason to root for Georgia Tech.
Two Openings
I think the writing is on the wall for Bryan Stinespring. He'll be gone at the end of this season, which is why so many offensive players are sticking up for him at this point. The players have to know this is it for him.
But he won't be the only coordinator we'll have to replace at the end of the season.
The other news of yesterday was the head-coach-in-waiting deal for Will Muschamp at Texas and the increasing odds that Bud Foster will get the Clemson job.
With Muschamp out of the picture, Clemson has to be looking more at Bud, even though I still think they'll hire someone with previous HC experience. However, while I don't think Bud will get the Clemson, I think he'll get a job somewhere at the end of this season. His stock can't get any higher at this point and if he doesn't take a job now, the opportunity may never come.
Eventually Bud will realize he can't limit himself to a strong BCS school as the only way he'll leave Tech. If he wants a head coaching gig, he's going to have to go prove himself in a non-BCS conference. He'll leave after this year.
Hitting the Panic Button
I can only imagine the mass hysteria on the TSL board if/when Bud leaves Tech, especially if Stiney had previously been shown the door. Bud would likely take most of the defensive staff with him to Clemson, which would leave the Hokies will a lot of positions to fill.
It would be a crossroads for the program. Would Beamer try to hire someone he's familiar with or coached at Tech to take over the defense or would he go out and try to find an up-and-coming coach at a mid-major school. I'd hope he'd choose the second option.
The future of the program would depend on Beamer's selections for OC and DC. If he chooses wrong, he could deal this program a blow that he himself won't be able to fix. By the time the damage will have been done, I'd assume Beamer would be ready to retire.
Then it would be up to the next head coach to bring in a new staff and fix everything. And knowing Hokie fans, I know we hate change. We fear change (well, except when it comes to firing Stiney). You'd probably have a rift in the fanbase regardless of who got hired.
Or We Could Just Avoid Everything
But there's another option that avoids all of that chaos. I advocated it before the season started. It was mentioned on Hokie Hotline last night. It was mentioned again by TSL today.
Why not just give Bud a HC-in-waiting deal like Muschamp? It makes too much sense not to do it. It's the right move to make.
In the past, I've said that I haven't been sure about whether or not Bud will make a great head coach. I'm still not sure. But this is what's best for the program. With this season nearing a tailspin, we need stability.
Naming Bud the next HC would secure the near future of the Hokies. While Bud may not end up being a good head coach, he deserves his shot. And I'd rather his shot come with the Hokies than with someone else. I'd have a much easier time accepting a few down seasons with Bud as HC than with an outsider.
Make Bud VT's next head coach before another school does.
Friday, November 14, 2008
It goes well with his lies...
Just sub "her" for "Stiney"
I could sit here and give a tirade that would make TWIS proud. Or I could just get drunker and recognize that other teams (Tennessee, West Virginia, Virginia) have it worse than us and next year will likely be better.
Yeah, I prefer that second choice at this point. It works out better for someone who has to be awake for work in five hours. We'll win out an we'll go to a bowl that isn't in Boise. Which at this point is a victory for me.
Of course, if we do go to Boise, I'd still go to that bowl game. I like to ski and it's the last time the ACC will ever have that bowl tie-in. So, I'm just going to sit here, drink my Maker's Mark, and relax.
I'll let all the crazies on the TSL message boards deal with the melt down. I've got good bourbon and the new Bruce Robison album. What the hell else do I need? You know, other than a win over the HATED HATED HATED Hurricanes.
/uncontrollable sobbing.
C'mon in boy and sit down at the bar
Don't want to hear or care who or what you are
Don't ask how it is but I know your pain is real
I'll tell you now I know exactly how you feel
Look at those suckers there crying in their booze
Everybody knows how to win
but you've got to know how to lose
So when your hopes and dreams are gone out of the night
you've got to hang your head just right
I recommend the California '85
It was the only thing that once kept me alive
It doesn't matter with a white or deep Rossette
The only thing that gets me through another day
I had a life I had a love and now it's all gone
And now I'm barely hanging on
So try the California '85
It goes well with her lies
Whiskey (ps- bourbon!) doesn't work 'cause it won't let you lie
A fightin' man will fight a cryin' man with cry
I'm not opposed to drinking me some beer
There's just so little beer to take my pain away down here
They say that living well is how revenge is earned
But you and I know they were never really burned
It's not the fall that breaks your heart so it won't mend
It is the quick stop at the end
I recommend the California '85
It was the only thing that once kept me alive
It doesn't matter with a white or deep rosset
The only thing that gets me through another day
I had a life I had a love and it was all gone
And now I'm barely hanging on
So try the California '85
It goes well with her lies
Old Willy plays the jukebox through the day
Come 12:30 one will teach you how to pray
Smoke gets thick and then the music gets so loud
Your mind starts spinning and your head begins to cloud
Call me a loser, call me living in the past
Precious days into a scarlet water glass
This isn't like anyone would want to be
So the first bottle is on me
So Goddamn that California '85
This ain't no living man, I'm barely just alive
It doesn't matter with a white or deep rosset
The only thing that gets me through another day
I had a life, I had a love and now it's all gone
And now I'm barely hanging on
So try the California '85
It goes well with her lies
It goes well with her lies
It goes well with her lies
I could sit here and give a tirade that would make TWIS proud. Or I could just get drunker and recognize that other teams (Tennessee, West Virginia, Virginia) have it worse than us and next year will likely be better.
Yeah, I prefer that second choice at this point. It works out better for someone who has to be awake for work in five hours. We'll win out an we'll go to a bowl that isn't in Boise. Which at this point is a victory for me.
Of course, if we do go to Boise, I'd still go to that bowl game. I like to ski and it's the last time the ACC will ever have that bowl tie-in. So, I'm just going to sit here, drink my Maker's Mark, and relax.
I'll let all the crazies on the TSL message boards deal with the melt down. I've got good bourbon and the new Bruce Robison album. What the hell else do I need? You know, other than a win over the HATED HATED HATED Hurricanes.
/uncontrollable sobbing.
Monday, October 27, 2008
About that punt
A 15-hour drive home gives you a lot of time to stew, lament and ponder the previous day's game. Especially when it's a loss. I'm over the loss already, which either means I'm maturing or I have tempered my expectations for this team severely.
Anyway, we decided to punt with under two minutes left and down by 10. Beamer told the media after the game the goal was to force a fumble on the ensuing punt return.
What this tells me is Beamer had absolutely no confidence in the offense's ability to compete a long pass on 4th and 10.
I thought the offense was doing fine with Cory Holt under center in the fourth quarter. There were three incomplete passes leading up to the fourth down play, but why not give them another shot. To me, there is a better chance of completing a pass than forcing a fumble on a punt return.
That and there was no chance Florida State was even going to try to field that punt. Why would it? The Noles were either going to call a fair catch or let Virginia Tech down it, which they did.
No letting the offense attempt a play on fourth down sends the wrong message. But to think FSU was even going to let you have the chance to force a fumble on a punt is just ridiculous.
Sure, we probably don't win even if we convert on 4th and 10, but at least give the guys a chance.
Anyway, we decided to punt with under two minutes left and down by 10. Beamer told the media after the game the goal was to force a fumble on the ensuing punt return.
What this tells me is Beamer had absolutely no confidence in the offense's ability to compete a long pass on 4th and 10.
I thought the offense was doing fine with Cory Holt under center in the fourth quarter. There were three incomplete passes leading up to the fourth down play, but why not give them another shot. To me, there is a better chance of completing a pass than forcing a fumble on a punt return.
That and there was no chance Florida State was even going to try to field that punt. Why would it? The Noles were either going to call a fair catch or let Virginia Tech down it, which they did.
No letting the offense attempt a play on fourth down sends the wrong message. But to think FSU was even going to let you have the chance to force a fumble on a punt is just ridiculous.
Sure, we probably don't win even if we convert on 4th and 10, but at least give the guys a chance.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
It's not just about firing Stiney
Firing Stiney
I announced earlier this week that I had finally succumbed and was on the "Fire Bryan Stinespring" bandwagon. I still am. Stiney has no business calling our plays and directing our offense.
Stinespring is a fantastic recruiter and by all accounts a great man. But his ability to lead the offense is lacking. Yes, it's the right offense. It's the one that helps our defense win. I get it. But the man in charge of that offense is no longer getting the job done.
Yeah, this team is young and is making a lot of youthful mistakes. Yes, the offensive line is a work in progress ... again. But at some point there has to be accountability for the guy who comes up with and implements the game plan and calls the actual plays.
Bryan Stinespring is no longer the guy that should be doing that and he should be fired from calling the plays. But there's a little more to it than that.
Things that won't work
In a perfect world, I'd like to see Stiney simply get demoted. However, that probably isn't the way it's going to happen. There would bound to be problems between he and the new offensive coordinator and it would just be awkward to have the guy around after he had been stripped of play-calling duties. It's one thing for the head coach to take over calling the plays. It's another for a new OC to be brought in when the old guy is still around.
In order to adequately replace Stiney, you would also have to replace his ability to recruit. You also have to bring in someone whose offensive philosophy fits that of the head coach and the program. You can't just simply pick the first hot offensive coordinator with a big offense and stick him in at Virginia Tech. You can't just go and get a guy from Houston or Nevada and bring him to Blacksburg and expect things to instantly work.
No, you have to get a guy who wouldn't completely overhaul Virginia Tech's offense and bring in some new philosophy. Ask Auburn and Tennessee how that's working out. But if you can get someone with a history of being in a run-first offense, who understands how to coach kids to make them better, knows how to game plan and knows how to adjust at halftime when things don't go their way, then you'll have a successful OC replacement for Stinespring.
Actual possible replacements
There are a couple of names I like. The first was mentioned earlier this week on the TSL Boards: Josh Heupel. Heupel is a coaches son who has been under one of the better offensive coordinators I've seen in a while, Kevin Wilson. And despite what OU's offense is this season, the Sooners were a run-first program when Wilson first started calling plays.
Also, Wilson came from Northwestern, where he helped Damien Anderson run wild.
The other name I like is also here in the Sooner State: Trooper Taylor. Taylor coached under David Cutcliffe at Tennessee, where the Vols were a run-first team. Cut was one of the primary reasons Fulmer has had as many good years as he's had at Tennessee and they made a mistake in not making Taylor the OC.
Eventually, Trooper Taylor is going to get the keys to his own offense and that team is going to seriously fly.
Back to Reality
Of course, odds are nothing will be done after this season, Stinespring will be able to keep his job citing the youth of this year's team and we'll suck again in '09. Meanwhile, UVa will fire Mike Groh, hire Taylor and win the ACC. So at least we have that to look forward to. That will be fun.
/uncontrollable sobbing
I announced earlier this week that I had finally succumbed and was on the "Fire Bryan Stinespring" bandwagon. I still am. Stiney has no business calling our plays and directing our offense.
Stinespring is a fantastic recruiter and by all accounts a great man. But his ability to lead the offense is lacking. Yes, it's the right offense. It's the one that helps our defense win. I get it. But the man in charge of that offense is no longer getting the job done.
Yeah, this team is young and is making a lot of youthful mistakes. Yes, the offensive line is a work in progress ... again. But at some point there has to be accountability for the guy who comes up with and implements the game plan and calls the actual plays.
Bryan Stinespring is no longer the guy that should be doing that and he should be fired from calling the plays. But there's a little more to it than that.
Things that won't work
In a perfect world, I'd like to see Stiney simply get demoted. However, that probably isn't the way it's going to happen. There would bound to be problems between he and the new offensive coordinator and it would just be awkward to have the guy around after he had been stripped of play-calling duties. It's one thing for the head coach to take over calling the plays. It's another for a new OC to be brought in when the old guy is still around.
In order to adequately replace Stiney, you would also have to replace his ability to recruit. You also have to bring in someone whose offensive philosophy fits that of the head coach and the program. You can't just simply pick the first hot offensive coordinator with a big offense and stick him in at Virginia Tech. You can't just go and get a guy from Houston or Nevada and bring him to Blacksburg and expect things to instantly work.
No, you have to get a guy who wouldn't completely overhaul Virginia Tech's offense and bring in some new philosophy. Ask Auburn and Tennessee how that's working out. But if you can get someone with a history of being in a run-first offense, who understands how to coach kids to make them better, knows how to game plan and knows how to adjust at halftime when things don't go their way, then you'll have a successful OC replacement for Stinespring.
Actual possible replacements
There are a couple of names I like. The first was mentioned earlier this week on the TSL Boards: Josh Heupel. Heupel is a coaches son who has been under one of the better offensive coordinators I've seen in a while, Kevin Wilson. And despite what OU's offense is this season, the Sooners were a run-first program when Wilson first started calling plays.
Also, Wilson came from Northwestern, where he helped Damien Anderson run wild.
The other name I like is also here in the Sooner State: Trooper Taylor. Taylor coached under David Cutcliffe at Tennessee, where the Vols were a run-first team. Cut was one of the primary reasons Fulmer has had as many good years as he's had at Tennessee and they made a mistake in not making Taylor the OC.
Eventually, Trooper Taylor is going to get the keys to his own offense and that team is going to seriously fly.
Back to Reality
Of course, odds are nothing will be done after this season, Stinespring will be able to keep his job citing the youth of this year's team and we'll suck again in '09. Meanwhile, UVa will fire Mike Groh, hire Taylor and win the ACC. So at least we have that to look forward to. That will be fun.
/uncontrollable sobbing
Monday, October 20, 2008
Some quick BC thoughts
I am officially on the "Fire Bryan Stinespring" bandwagon. I agree that the team's current offense is the one that gives it the best chance to win. The power run game does help the defense win. Look at the Oklahoma. The Sooners score almost too quickly, keeping their defense on the field longer and by the end they're tired.
However, Virginia Tech's defense gets stronger as games go on. They don't get tired. They get better. In second halves, our defense has been spectacular.
That said, Stiney is not the guy who needs to be calling plays. He is completely inept. The Hokies are the easiest team in the country to scheme for because they never do anything different. It's the same tired shit week after week.
I haven't watched the DVR of the game yet. I might never watch it. We had no business losing that game. We also had no business being in it at the end.
However, Virginia Tech's defense gets stronger as games go on. They don't get tired. They get better. In second halves, our defense has been spectacular.
That said, Stiney is not the guy who needs to be calling plays. He is completely inept. The Hokies are the easiest team in the country to scheme for because they never do anything different. It's the same tired shit week after week.
I haven't watched the DVR of the game yet. I might never watch it. We had no business losing that game. We also had no business being in it at the end.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Notre Dame: A Cautionary Tale
AD Jim Weaver has been solid as a businessman during his tenure with Virginia Tech. He's kept the department in the black, built wonderful new facilities and was on the job when Tech moved to the ACC.
However, Weaver has been deficient at dealing with the common fan. Every week, I see stories posted on TSL Message Boards about fans being harassed for various offenses while tailgating. These offenses range from the mild, such as having a tent set up on asphalt, to the absolutely unforgivable, such as throwing a football prior to a football game.
The Weaver Administration has banned cornhole, footballs and tents on paved areas, probably because big-money donors with Weaver's ear had their car slightly damaged as the pulled up to the stadium 15 minutes before gametime.
The Weaver Administration banned the Stick-It-In cheer, probably because a big-money donor with Weaver's ear was offended by it. Weaver claims the cheer has nothing to do with the team scoring touchdowns. I frankly don't care. It added to my enjoyment and to the enjoyment of most of the fans in attendance at VT games. It's just like any other tradition or superstition. If you think it works, then it works. It's the reason I don't shave when the Sabres are in the playoffs.
The question becomes how much further is Weaver willing to go to control tailgating at Virginia Tech. Is he willing to go as far as Notre Dame?
Irish fans have been brow-beaten by campus police and stadium officials who are adamant to control drinking, standing and having a good time before, during or after games in South Bend.
Any kind of tripping, wobbling, or looking confused is just cause to be considered for a public intox violation before the game. Outside of the student section, standing is close to prohibited during the game. Go through solid Notre Dame blog The Rock Report and you'll find numerous posts on how bad things have gotten at Notre Dame.
We can only hope that this doesn't come to Virginia Tech. We have shown through and through that we are good fans who treat visitors with respect. However, we also like to have a good time before, during and after the game. If that's a problem for Weaver, then he needs to get out of college athletics. College sports are supposed to be fun.
We don't need VT police and VT officials turning into the Notre Dame Gestapo. We respect the moment, the opponent, the game, ourselves and the competition. So it's high time the athletics department and administration respected us.
However, Weaver has been deficient at dealing with the common fan. Every week, I see stories posted on TSL Message Boards about fans being harassed for various offenses while tailgating. These offenses range from the mild, such as having a tent set up on asphalt, to the absolutely unforgivable, such as throwing a football prior to a football game.
The Weaver Administration has banned cornhole, footballs and tents on paved areas, probably because big-money donors with Weaver's ear had their car slightly damaged as the pulled up to the stadium 15 minutes before gametime.
The Weaver Administration banned the Stick-It-In cheer, probably because a big-money donor with Weaver's ear was offended by it. Weaver claims the cheer has nothing to do with the team scoring touchdowns. I frankly don't care. It added to my enjoyment and to the enjoyment of most of the fans in attendance at VT games. It's just like any other tradition or superstition. If you think it works, then it works. It's the reason I don't shave when the Sabres are in the playoffs.
The question becomes how much further is Weaver willing to go to control tailgating at Virginia Tech. Is he willing to go as far as Notre Dame?
Irish fans have been brow-beaten by campus police and stadium officials who are adamant to control drinking, standing and having a good time before, during or after games in South Bend.
Any kind of tripping, wobbling, or looking confused is just cause to be considered for a public intox violation before the game. Outside of the student section, standing is close to prohibited during the game. Go through solid Notre Dame blog The Rock Report and you'll find numerous posts on how bad things have gotten at Notre Dame.
We can only hope that this doesn't come to Virginia Tech. We have shown through and through that we are good fans who treat visitors with respect. However, we also like to have a good time before, during and after the game. If that's a problem for Weaver, then he needs to get out of college athletics. College sports are supposed to be fun.
We don't need VT police and VT officials turning into the Notre Dame Gestapo. We respect the moment, the opponent, the game, ourselves and the competition. So it's high time the athletics department and administration respected us.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
OU-Texas for $90
It's OU-Texas week. When I was an undergrad at the University of E.K. Gaylord, I never really bought into the hype surrounding OU-Texas week. I covered the game three years and went down without going to the game another. But my redshirt senior year was different. I felt I needed to experience OU-Texas as a fan just once. However, I also only had $100 to my name.
Screw it, we're going.
The same was true for my roommate, Canada. The reason we called him Canada is a story in and of itself. He isn't from Canada, he's from Ohio. The public school system in Oklahoma isn't very good, one thing led to another and now he's "Canada".
So Canada and I decided to head down to Dallas the Thursday before OU-Texas without tickets or a place to stay and only $200 collectively to our names. We were able to leave Thursday because OU gives its students the Friday before OU-Texas off so they can go down to Dallas early and get in the proper frame of mind before the game.
Thursday Night
We got to Dallas at around 11 p.m. and went to my favorite Dallas bar, The Flying Saucer in Addison. The Saucer was always a Thursday tradition for the group of us that went down to OU-Texas every year. Because it was my redshirt year and Canada was a year younger than me, we were the only two from the usual group in Dallas this year. The alumni of the group were slackers and didn't make the trip.
We closed down the Saucer and blew about $25 each of our bankroll. Now, to find a place to sleep at 2 a.m. on Thursday in Dallas. Fortunately for us, the Canuck knew a girl who had a thing for him who lived near Addison. We were both too hammered to drive, so we called her for a ride.
Even though she had work at 6 a.m. the next day, she drove to The Saucer, picked us up and drove us back to her place. We found out later it wasn't her place, but some house she was housesitting. In order to get out of spending the next three hours in the guest room with her, Canada and I had to share the master bedroom of these people's house.
She took the Canuck to get my car on her way to work, he came back to the house and we had the run of the place for the day. We drank their coffee, ate their food, used their thankfully heated pool and waited for other friends who were getting into town that night.
Friday night's alright for fighting
The Friday of OU-Texas is a rite of passage for students of both universities. The place to be is the West End, where copious amounts of drinking, yelling and brawling always take place. Police in riot gear and on horses are prevalent, but most of those in the West End are oblivious to them.
The police let everything go: public intox, minor in possession, even the occasional public urination ... as long as you don't get into a fight. If you get into a fight, you're history.
(Quick side story. A few years prior a friend of mine got into a fight the night before OU-Texas. He gets put into detox, along with a cell full of OU and Texas fans. They aren't going to let any of them out for 12 hours, which in my friend's case is 1 p.m. Too bad the game's at 11 a.m. He's resigned to the fact that he'll be missing this year's game.
Until the next morning when a guy in a red Armani suit wearing a red cowboy had strolled into the jail. He asked all OU fans to step to the front of the cell. He announced he was paying all of their bails, filed all of them into his stretch limo, gave them booze and a ride to the game.)
So we get to the West End at 10 p.m., get over-served at a bar and wander out into the street, which is wall-to-wall people. There's yelling, there's shoving and eventually fighting.
At this point I've lost Canada, who ran into another girl who was into him and took him back to her boyfriend's hotel room to presumably play Parcheesi and Scrabble. I run into my buddy Gabe who was in town from the Left Coast and had a table at another bar. This was clutch because Gabe chose a real major at OU and therefore makes a lot more money than I do. So when he's hammered he usually picks up my tab.
Now in the proper frame of mind, we re-entered the street where all hell had broken loose. There's cops in riot gear trying to break up a fight between two people who weren't students or fans of either school. A lot of older people will go to the West End on Friday just to watch the spectacle, but it isn't very often that they end up joining the fray.
They finally reach who they perceive to be the instigator and taze him in the groin. His reaction to being tazered in the groin spooks the police horse, which tramples him. We decided that was a sign we should leave the West End. Now, I have to find a place to stay for the night.
Gabe's hotel is a no-go. It requires wrist bands to get in and it will be impossible to get Canada and I into the hotel. So I call up my buddy Ed, who is staying in a hotel on the north side of town. We can stay there, for free. Victory. But, it's a 20 minute drive and I need to be there soon since its late, which means I have to find Canada.
Using a cell phone on the West End on Friday is an exercise in futility. I can't get a signal out, so I start walking in the general vicinity of where I think Canada went. Sure enough, I find him and the girl and neither of them are anywhere near sober. Both are stumbling and falling over, but we somehow carry the girl to the car and head to Ed's hotel.
When we got there, Ed was mad that there was more than just the two of us, meaning we'd have to cram 11 people into this hotel room instead of 10. However, both Canada and I brought air mattresses, so all was forgiven. Somehow, Canada and the girl fit onto one twin sized air mattress and I take the other. I made sure to sleep no where near those two.
I would title this section "Saturday in Fair Park" but I fucking hate Chicago.
This was the first time I'd been to Dallas for OU-Texas for a game that wasn't at 11 a.m. That, thankfully, allowed us to sleep in until 10, because if you aren't on the road by 11, you aren't going to get to the game until right at kick or later. Traffic is that bad.
I dropped the girl off at one of her friend's hotel and me and the Canuck headed to Fair Park, where the Cotton Bowl is located. I hate going to OU-Texas. I absolutely hate it and Fair Park is why. It's in a bad area of Dallas, there's not enough parking and you have to park on somebody's lawn. Then you have to walk through the bad area of Dallas to the gate to the fair.
If you have an OU-Texas ticket, you get into the fair for free. If you don't, like me, you have to pay the outrageous price of admission to the fair. And once you enter, you have to pay the outrageous coupon (or as Ron White says, coopin) prices to buy outrageously coopin priced beer.
[rant]
Most OU and Texas fans want the game to stay at the Cotton Bowl because they love the idea of the old building with one toilet per 10,000 fans, cramped concourses and dumpy seating to continue to host one of the more important football games of the season.
Me? I say move it to Jerry World as soon as humanly possible.
They also love the idea of the fair, the Super Midway, the funnel cakes and the rides.
Well, I'm a former carny. I hate fair food, fair games and fair rides.
Get the game to Jerry World as soon as possible and I will be a lot happier playing cornhole, grilling and tailgating under a tent in a huge parking lot than I ever would be at the Texas State Fair. Big Tex can go fuck himself.
[/rant]
But that's getting off the story. Canada and I now had just enough money for gas to get home. Canada already has a ticket because he ponied up for season tickets before the season started. Me? I went to 10 college football games that year, one of which was in the state of Oklahoma. I had to find a ticket.
I knew I was going to have to wait until after kickoff to afford a ticket. So I found my dad, took the rest of his coupons off his hands and waited in the air conditioned beer tent until the time was right.
I know I can sit with my dad once I get into the stadium so it doesn't matter where the ticket is. With seven minutes to go in the first quarter, I got into the OU-Texas game for $10.
After the game, an OU loss, we hung around the fair for a few hours to wait for traffic to die down. I still had a good amount of coupons from my dad, so I used those entertainment until it was time to go. Entertainment, of course, meant futile efforts to win stuffed animals by knocking down milk jugs with a softball. This was followed immediately by futile efforts to catapult a rubber frog onto a flimsy lilly pad in a tank of water.
Last temptation of Canada
Once back in the car, we realized quickly that it was on its last leg. We noticed on the ride down that something was wrong with my car, but it was painfully obvious on the way north on I-35. There was a weird, mold-like smell coming out of the A/C and something just wasn't right. I originally blamed Canada for the smell, saying he had left a wet towel in the car.
We stopped at Humperdink's in Addison, which was the tradition after the OU-Texas game for a final beer and dinner. When we got back to the parking lot, we found the car wouldn't start.
We got the car jumped and started back north. We knew we couldn't afford to turn the car off, so we filled it up with the car running at a Race Trac in Denton. Canada then went in to get coffee to make sure we made it back to Norman.
He returned to the car with fantastic news. In the five minutes he was inside, he met two girls and one of the girl's moms. They were OU students/fans who wanted to take us to a nearby bar and then have us spend the night at the mom's house.
Now we had a dilemma. If we went with the girls, we might never get back to Norman because of the car. After about a 30 second pause, we realized we had enough adventure for one weekend and went back to Norman with $10 in each of our pockets.
The next day I found out the head gaskets on my car were shot and I needed a new battery. The smell? Well, that was the result of coolant leaking onto the engine, evaporating and then coming through the vents into the car.
We should have asphyxiated and died.
Epilogue
This year I won't be going to OU-Texas. For years, I cursed the Cotton Bowl, Fair Park, 11 a.m. kickoffs and vowed, "that's it, I'm never coming back, this is the last time," only to return the next season. Finally, last year I broke the streak. Despite living in Dallas, I skipped OU-Texas and drove to Clemson to see the Hokies.
Some friends, including Canada, had the run of my apartment while I was gone. I returned from South Carolina to find all my food eaten and all my beer imbibed. I expected nothing less.
That's one reason I'm not going. I no longer feel the need to go back every year. Another reason is financial. Although I've proved I can do OU-Texas for cheap, I've got a flight to Boston coming up for the Oct. 18 game, a drive to Tallahassee the following week and drives to Blacksburg for games Nov. 6 and 29. I think I'll save my money for those trips.
But the main reason I'm not going to OU-Texas this is simple. How in the hell could I possibly top the year the Canuck and I did it for $90?
Screw it, we're going.
The same was true for my roommate, Canada. The reason we called him Canada is a story in and of itself. He isn't from Canada, he's from Ohio. The public school system in Oklahoma isn't very good, one thing led to another and now he's "Canada".
So Canada and I decided to head down to Dallas the Thursday before OU-Texas without tickets or a place to stay and only $200 collectively to our names. We were able to leave Thursday because OU gives its students the Friday before OU-Texas off so they can go down to Dallas early and get in the proper frame of mind before the game.
Thursday Night
We got to Dallas at around 11 p.m. and went to my favorite Dallas bar, The Flying Saucer in Addison. The Saucer was always a Thursday tradition for the group of us that went down to OU-Texas every year. Because it was my redshirt year and Canada was a year younger than me, we were the only two from the usual group in Dallas this year. The alumni of the group were slackers and didn't make the trip.
We closed down the Saucer and blew about $25 each of our bankroll. Now, to find a place to sleep at 2 a.m. on Thursday in Dallas. Fortunately for us, the Canuck knew a girl who had a thing for him who lived near Addison. We were both too hammered to drive, so we called her for a ride.
Even though she had work at 6 a.m. the next day, she drove to The Saucer, picked us up and drove us back to her place. We found out later it wasn't her place, but some house she was housesitting. In order to get out of spending the next three hours in the guest room with her, Canada and I had to share the master bedroom of these people's house.
She took the Canuck to get my car on her way to work, he came back to the house and we had the run of the place for the day. We drank their coffee, ate their food, used their thankfully heated pool and waited for other friends who were getting into town that night.
Friday night's alright for fighting
The Friday of OU-Texas is a rite of passage for students of both universities. The place to be is the West End, where copious amounts of drinking, yelling and brawling always take place. Police in riot gear and on horses are prevalent, but most of those in the West End are oblivious to them.
The police let everything go: public intox, minor in possession, even the occasional public urination ... as long as you don't get into a fight. If you get into a fight, you're history.
(Quick side story. A few years prior a friend of mine got into a fight the night before OU-Texas. He gets put into detox, along with a cell full of OU and Texas fans. They aren't going to let any of them out for 12 hours, which in my friend's case is 1 p.m. Too bad the game's at 11 a.m. He's resigned to the fact that he'll be missing this year's game.
Until the next morning when a guy in a red Armani suit wearing a red cowboy had strolled into the jail. He asked all OU fans to step to the front of the cell. He announced he was paying all of their bails, filed all of them into his stretch limo, gave them booze and a ride to the game.)
So we get to the West End at 10 p.m., get over-served at a bar and wander out into the street, which is wall-to-wall people. There's yelling, there's shoving and eventually fighting.
At this point I've lost Canada, who ran into another girl who was into him and took him back to her boyfriend's hotel room to presumably play Parcheesi and Scrabble. I run into my buddy Gabe who was in town from the Left Coast and had a table at another bar. This was clutch because Gabe chose a real major at OU and therefore makes a lot more money than I do. So when he's hammered he usually picks up my tab.
Now in the proper frame of mind, we re-entered the street where all hell had broken loose. There's cops in riot gear trying to break up a fight between two people who weren't students or fans of either school. A lot of older people will go to the West End on Friday just to watch the spectacle, but it isn't very often that they end up joining the fray.
They finally reach who they perceive to be the instigator and taze him in the groin. His reaction to being tazered in the groin spooks the police horse, which tramples him. We decided that was a sign we should leave the West End. Now, I have to find a place to stay for the night.
Gabe's hotel is a no-go. It requires wrist bands to get in and it will be impossible to get Canada and I into the hotel. So I call up my buddy Ed, who is staying in a hotel on the north side of town. We can stay there, for free. Victory. But, it's a 20 minute drive and I need to be there soon since its late, which means I have to find Canada.
Using a cell phone on the West End on Friday is an exercise in futility. I can't get a signal out, so I start walking in the general vicinity of where I think Canada went. Sure enough, I find him and the girl and neither of them are anywhere near sober. Both are stumbling and falling over, but we somehow carry the girl to the car and head to Ed's hotel.
When we got there, Ed was mad that there was more than just the two of us, meaning we'd have to cram 11 people into this hotel room instead of 10. However, both Canada and I brought air mattresses, so all was forgiven. Somehow, Canada and the girl fit onto one twin sized air mattress and I take the other. I made sure to sleep no where near those two.
I would title this section "Saturday in Fair Park" but I fucking hate Chicago.
This was the first time I'd been to Dallas for OU-Texas for a game that wasn't at 11 a.m. That, thankfully, allowed us to sleep in until 10, because if you aren't on the road by 11, you aren't going to get to the game until right at kick or later. Traffic is that bad.
I dropped the girl off at one of her friend's hotel and me and the Canuck headed to Fair Park, where the Cotton Bowl is located. I hate going to OU-Texas. I absolutely hate it and Fair Park is why. It's in a bad area of Dallas, there's not enough parking and you have to park on somebody's lawn. Then you have to walk through the bad area of Dallas to the gate to the fair.
If you have an OU-Texas ticket, you get into the fair for free. If you don't, like me, you have to pay the outrageous price of admission to the fair. And once you enter, you have to pay the outrageous coupon (or as Ron White says, coopin) prices to buy outrageously coopin priced beer.
[rant]
Most OU and Texas fans want the game to stay at the Cotton Bowl because they love the idea of the old building with one toilet per 10,000 fans, cramped concourses and dumpy seating to continue to host one of the more important football games of the season.
Me? I say move it to Jerry World as soon as humanly possible.
They also love the idea of the fair, the Super Midway, the funnel cakes and the rides.
Well, I'm a former carny. I hate fair food, fair games and fair rides.
Get the game to Jerry World as soon as possible and I will be a lot happier playing cornhole, grilling and tailgating under a tent in a huge parking lot than I ever would be at the Texas State Fair. Big Tex can go fuck himself.
[/rant]
But that's getting off the story. Canada and I now had just enough money for gas to get home. Canada already has a ticket because he ponied up for season tickets before the season started. Me? I went to 10 college football games that year, one of which was in the state of Oklahoma. I had to find a ticket.
I knew I was going to have to wait until after kickoff to afford a ticket. So I found my dad, took the rest of his coupons off his hands and waited in the air conditioned beer tent until the time was right.
I know I can sit with my dad once I get into the stadium so it doesn't matter where the ticket is. With seven minutes to go in the first quarter, I got into the OU-Texas game for $10.
After the game, an OU loss, we hung around the fair for a few hours to wait for traffic to die down. I still had a good amount of coupons from my dad, so I used those entertainment until it was time to go. Entertainment, of course, meant futile efforts to win stuffed animals by knocking down milk jugs with a softball. This was followed immediately by futile efforts to catapult a rubber frog onto a flimsy lilly pad in a tank of water.
Last temptation of Canada
Once back in the car, we realized quickly that it was on its last leg. We noticed on the ride down that something was wrong with my car, but it was painfully obvious on the way north on I-35. There was a weird, mold-like smell coming out of the A/C and something just wasn't right. I originally blamed Canada for the smell, saying he had left a wet towel in the car.
We stopped at Humperdink's in Addison, which was the tradition after the OU-Texas game for a final beer and dinner. When we got back to the parking lot, we found the car wouldn't start.
We got the car jumped and started back north. We knew we couldn't afford to turn the car off, so we filled it up with the car running at a Race Trac in Denton. Canada then went in to get coffee to make sure we made it back to Norman.
He returned to the car with fantastic news. In the five minutes he was inside, he met two girls and one of the girl's moms. They were OU students/fans who wanted to take us to a nearby bar and then have us spend the night at the mom's house.
Now we had a dilemma. If we went with the girls, we might never get back to Norman because of the car. After about a 30 second pause, we realized we had enough adventure for one weekend and went back to Norman with $10 in each of our pockets.
The next day I found out the head gaskets on my car were shot and I needed a new battery. The smell? Well, that was the result of coolant leaking onto the engine, evaporating and then coming through the vents into the car.
We should have asphyxiated and died.
Epilogue
This year I won't be going to OU-Texas. For years, I cursed the Cotton Bowl, Fair Park, 11 a.m. kickoffs and vowed, "that's it, I'm never coming back, this is the last time," only to return the next season. Finally, last year I broke the streak. Despite living in Dallas, I skipped OU-Texas and drove to Clemson to see the Hokies.
Some friends, including Canada, had the run of my apartment while I was gone. I returned from South Carolina to find all my food eaten and all my beer imbibed. I expected nothing less.
That's one reason I'm not going. I no longer feel the need to go back every year. Another reason is financial. Although I've proved I can do OU-Texas for cheap, I've got a flight to Boston coming up for the Oct. 18 game, a drive to Tallahassee the following week and drives to Blacksburg for games Nov. 6 and 29. I think I'll save my money for those trips.
But the main reason I'm not going to OU-Texas this is simple. How in the hell could I possibly top the year the Canuck and I did it for $90?
Monday, September 8, 2008
6-Day Option Taken on VT-UNC
Tech's game against UNC Sept. 20 will be at either noon on Raycom or 3:30 on ABC/ESPN. However, we won't know until Sunday.
Obviously, it will depend on how the ACC teams fare this weekend. UNC play at Rutgers on the Thursday night special and the Hokies host Georgia Tech at 3:30 on Saturday.
It doesn't matter which time-slot the Hokies are on, it means I won't be able to see them without paying for it on Game Plan. Full season of Game Plan isn't exactly worth it where I live because I already get the Big Ten Network, Fox Sports Net, ABC, NBC, CBS, ESPN Networks and Raycom SEC games. The only games I miss out on happen to be the ACC games. Good luck getting your roommates to pony up over $100 just so you can see out-of-market ACC games.
Obviously, it will depend on how the ACC teams fare this weekend. UNC play at Rutgers on the Thursday night special and the Hokies host Georgia Tech at 3:30 on Saturday.
It doesn't matter which time-slot the Hokies are on, it means I won't be able to see them without paying for it on Game Plan. Full season of Game Plan isn't exactly worth it where I live because I already get the Big Ten Network, Fox Sports Net, ABC, NBC, CBS, ESPN Networks and Raycom SEC games. The only games I miss out on happen to be the ACC games. Good luck getting your roommates to pony up over $100 just so you can see out-of-market ACC games.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Anatomy of a Program: Our Fanbase
This is part of a series of posts just before the season that will go over certain aspects of the football program I find interesting. There will be posts on the Virginia Tech football team's peers, strengths, weaknesses and fanbase. It won't just be on-field related issues, either.
Virginia Tech has the best damn fans in college football. We're passionate, loyal, loud and sometimes go a little overboard. I drive cross country several times a year to see the Hokies play football. It's an obsession. An unhealthy obsession? Probably, but an obsession nonetheless.
And I'm not unique among the fanbase. There are plenty of fans that put forth a lot more time and effort into attending Virginia Tech games. Tailgating at Virginia Tech is on-par with some of the best game-day atmospheres in the country. We take our Hokie football very seriously.
But, my main problem with the fanbase is the expectations of many Hokie fans. It doesn't sit well with me that some are content to contend for a conference title every year and not really ever have a shot at the MNC.
I think fans should expect more. Fans in places like Oklahoma, Florida and Ohio State expect to content for a national title every year, whether its realistic or not. The Hokies aren't nearly on the same level of those programs. But until you start expecting greatness, you won't be great. I'm sure the coaching staff expects greatness, but the fans seem to be content with going 10-2 every year.
I'm not. I want this program to be in contention for national titles. Until we win one, we'll be a second-tier program. This year my expectations are a little tempered because of the influx of new faces and concerns at key positions. But there's no reason for expectations to be sky-high for the 2009 and 2010 teams.
The 2008 version of Hokie football is very good. It may not be great, but I expect them to have a chance to win every game they play this year.
Hokie fans are the best around. But its time to start expecting more from the program. Virginia Tech has come a long way from where it was in the early 90s. Now they have the facilities and the conference affiliation to play with the big boys. It's time for the program to take the next step.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
2008 Gobbler Country Expectations
Here's what I, as an over-zealous fan with Internet access, would like to see out of the 2008 edition of the Virginia Tech Hokies football team:
1. Go Undefeated at Home
This one needs to happen. The Hokies have lost at least one game at home every year since 2001. This time, the schedule is easy enough to make it probably. The Hokies need to regain sense of invincibility at Lane Stadium. It isn't there anymore.
2. Have an Offense in the Top 70
The Hokies were ranked No. 100 in total offense in 2007 and No. 99 in 2006. Let's try to work on that.
3. Have a Defense Ranked in the Top 20
I expect the D to take a step back this year after losing so much talent. But I don't think it will be a step all the way back to 2003.
4. Develop the Young Talent
Don't redshirt Tyrod. Let him continue to improve as a quarterback and leader of the offense. This is Glennon's team, but having Tyrod on the field makes a lot more sense than letting him sit on the bench all year. If Ryan Williams, Dyrell Roberts and other freshman are ready, let them see the field and experience the speed of D1 football.
5. Win in Tallahassee or Miami
I think one of these two games are going to be a loss. But if the Hokies drop both, they will be in serious jeopardy or losing the Coastal.
6. Beat UNC and Win the Division
I'm tired of reading about how UNC is ready to start staking its claim under Butch Davis. Is Butchie really that good a coach? We'll find out in Week 4. Crush them, please.
7. Win the Bowl Game
I hate spending the money to travel to these things only to see an unprepared team that used the bowl as a reward get beat by an inferior team (except UGa, they were pretty good that year). There was no excuse for losing to Kansas. If you're going to not give a shit in the bowl, at least tell me in advance so I don't waste my time and money and fly down to Miami.
Coming next week: Projections for the hokie offense, defense and selected players in 2008.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Hate Index No. 1
The Hate Index will be a sometimes-updated feature here on Gobbler Country in which I let all of our rivals and enemies know how much I loathe them. It doesn't have to just include teams. It can be specific players or even members of the media. For the first installment, however, I'm just listing teams. Consider this to be a crash-course in Gobbler Country hateration. All aboard the Hate Train.
ACC Opponents
Nothin' But Love
1. Duke Football - I hope Cutcliffe makes that team respectable. It would help our SOS. Yes, even when I have nothin' but love for someone, it's for selfish reasons. I'm a huge douche.
2. Clemson - I've got no problem with Clemson. They're good people, even if they did steal $50 worth of car magnets from me during my trip there in 2007.
3. Georgia Tech - Really not much to have against the Wreck. Every now and then they'll field a football team that can beat you. But most of the time they just aren't good enough to hate. Good basketball coach, too.
4. Wake Forest - A feel good story on the football field. That and they're crazy. You can't really hate the insane. You know, because they might show up and blow up campus.
Mildly Annoying
5. NC State - They're good people. But I'm still peeved about the loss in '04. It takes a while for me to let stuff go. And Tom O'Brien's there now instead of Chesty.
6. Boston College - Takes a step down to mildly annoying with the loss of Matty Heisman. There will be payback the next couple years for your past transgressions, Eagles.
7. North Carolina - Even though they have Butch Davis and Tyler Hansbrough helped ruin my weekend, I kind of like the Heels. That and its between them and Duke and I ain't picking Duke.
8. Maryland - The stereotype is they're all rude fans from Jersey. The reality is they're all rude fans from jersey. But, unlike almost everyone else, I like Gary Williams. In the words of Bill Raftery, "He looks like an unmade bed after games."
May Your Canals Be Filled With Sand
9. Florida State - You're only ahead of Miami because you're not in our division. Your coach is just a figure-head. He stands around looking lost all game (you know, because of the Alzheimer's). Your players are so dumb they have to cheat to pass an online class. I took online classes all the time in college. If you have to cheat at an online class then you shouldn't be in college. And the players that aren't dumb and dumb enough to get caught are so thuggish they make our players look like angels. You want "Lack of Institutional Control," NCAA? I give you F$U. And guess what? We don't soil ourselves when we see the spear on the side of the helmets anymore.
10. Miami - And you. Your fans are the most fair-weather fans in the league and the ones who show up are cocky even when you suck. The good news is you can sell beer at your games. I appreciate that. Miami would be great if it weren't for their fans.
11. Duke Basketball - Yeah, it's cliche to hate you. But your fans are a bunch of posers and I hate Coach K and all of your players. The flopping, the ref-abuse from Coach K and the just the fact that Wojo exists makes me hate you.
Virginia
12. Virginia - You get your own category. All the reasons that I despise you have been echoed ad nauseum by all Hokies. Basically, your entire culture sickens me. When I have children, I will pay for them to go to college anywhere they want. Except UVa. If they want to become one of you, they can pay for it themselves. Before this year's UVa game, a friend of mine who votes for the Heisman wanted to get under my skin. He sent me an email that said he was filling out his Heisman ballot and considering Chris Long. The E-mail included the Chris Long Lovefest UVa media relations had sent him. This was my response:
"(expletive) chris long and everyone who looks like chris long. this is the biggest football game in the history of the great Commonwealth of Virginia and ill take a (expletive) in the (expletive) before i let france (aka: uva) win it. those zima-chugging, brie-cheese-eating, neck-tie-wearing arrogant (expletive) can (expletive) clean off. (expletive) uva. uva football is gayer than eight guys (expletive) nine guys. their (expletive) fight song is auld lang syne. are you (expletive) kidding me? get a real (expletive) fight song. i still hate new years eve because it means i have to hear that (expletive) song. the only good thing is i know that by the time new years eve rolls around, those (expletive) have already played their bowl game. usually about a week before hand. that is, if they made a bowl. and dont get me started on this (expletive) that uva is a better academic institution. the hardest part about graduating from uva? that would be getting into uva. uva is harder to get into and tech is harder to graduate from. those trust fund (expletive) can take their "higher academics" and kiss my (expletive). you know why? because biology lectures arent televised. football games are. they can sit there with their brie, wine and neck ties and call themselves sophisticated. me? im going to get hammered on wild turkey 101, grill brats, wear my beer-stained hooded sweatshirt and watch my football team beat the (expletive) out of yours because thats where sophistication gets you. give me tech and hard nosed, blue collar work ethic because were going to kick your (expletive) 10 times out of 10 that way. drink your wine and eat your brie, (expletive). my bourbon-drinking (expletive) has has won 7 of the last 8 meetings (ed. note: now 8 of 9). take your (expletive) trust fund and use to buy a first class ticket to boise to see your worthless team play in the (expletive) humanitarian bowl again. (expletive) uva. (expletive) them. (expletive) uva. thursday is day 1,083 of tech's continuous possession of the commonwealth cup, (expletive). ps - happy thanksgiving."
And I was sober when I wrote that. I was told two days later by someone who had the E-mail forwarded to them that it was the "funniest (expletive) E-mail" they had ever read.
Non-Conference Teams
Nothin' But Love
1. Oklahoma - The Alma Mater. I don't like Stoops, but I at least respect him. It's win-win for me when the Sooners play. If they win, I'm happy for the players and the people involved with that program. When they lose, I'm happy I get to see Stoops squirm.
2. South Florida - Beating WVU twice in a row gets you some love.
3. Ohio State - I hate Michigan, have friends who are Bucks and they have the coolest helmets in college football. You're the only Big Ten team I have any respect for.
4. East Carolina - Just don't do anything stupid like beat us anytime between now at 2080 or whenever this friggin' series ends.
Mildly Annoying
5. The SEC (Minus Tennessee) - Mildly annoying because they're so good at football and their fans often wear neck ties to games. But wow, do they have good tailgating.
May Your Canals Be Filled With Sand
6. Michigan - Good job hiring DickRod. Now I dislike you more.
7. Texas - Wrong kind of orange. I do like Rick Barnes, though.
8. Louisville - I learned at the 2005 Final Four that their fans have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. They're trailer trash, wanna-be thugs. Yes, I would like fries with that. No, I don't want an apple pie.
9. Tennessee - Vols fans, I've got bad news for you. You're really not going to like it. You may want to sit down. OK, here it is. WE'RE BETTER AT FOOTBALL THAN YOU ARE. In fact, you're kind of bad at it now. Your coach has no control over his team and really should be shown the door. It used to be you wouldn't play us because we weren't on your level. Guess what? Now we don't want to play you because you're not on our level. And your stadium is overrated. Not as good as advertised. Rocky Top, you'll always be... second in the SEC! Good ol' Rocky Top (woooo!)... second in the SEC!
West Virginia
10. West Virginia - You also get your own category, Couch Burners. Is there anything sadder than burning your own furniture after a football game? And you do it win or lose. You're basically the most class-less fan base outside of Newcastle, England.
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